Twas the night before christmas on Empire Ave!

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the SSAG

Not a creature was stirring, not even a (e)WOOF;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that (e)Zod soon would be there;

(e)Ehlen and (e)21guns were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions eaves, magic and wands danced in their heads;

And (e)Ladyhardcore in her ‘kerchief, and I (e)Colineagles in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a burly old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be (e)Zod!

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, (e)RMN! now, (e)Boardwalk! now, (e)JohnfMoore and (e)Daring!

On, (e)Comedy! on (e)MDTJ! on, (e)Josh and (e)CMCG!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Eaves, and (e)Zod too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney (e)Zod came with a bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of Eaves he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as black as coal;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little flat belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a crack of thunder.

He was tall and strong, a right jolly old Kryptonian,

And I trembled when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings with help from some elves; he named them each one as they went on their work (e)DrEvil, (e)XINE, (e)Skewer, (e)Anime, (e)PWND, (e)NRMM, (e)Vtech, (e)Patman,(e)Kilotr; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

Led By the bright light cast by (e)DUPS at the front of his team

I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”



3 Responses to “Twas the night before christmas on Empire Ave!”

  1. Brian Smith Says:

    I always knew I’d become a reigndeer

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